Talking to Children About an Ill Grandparent or Relative

Family caregivers face many different challenges when caring for a parent that is suffering from a disease or illness. Aside from providing for their parent’s daily home care needs, many family caregivers also take care of their own family as well. The blending of these two roles is inevitable and the caregiver will eventually have to answer the question: “How is grandma doing?”

It’s important to take a different approach when speaking with kids about a grandparent or relative’s illness. This conversation becomes even more difficult when the individual is terminally ill. Silence is typically the worst option, but time should be taken to prepare for this conversation before jumping in. Clark Goldstein, an Associate Psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, provided the following points to consider when speaking with children about a grandparent’s illness:

1. Remain Calm: It’s good to let them know you are concerned but getting highly emotional in front of children can leave them confused or scared.
2. Educate Them: Teach them about the disease then let them know what is being done treat it and how it might impact their grandparent’s daily life.
3. Sensor Yourself: Answer any questions but be sure to not bring up things that may be disturbing or hard to understand and be honest if you don’t know the answer to the questions.
4. Avoid False Reassurance: Be honest. Instead of saying: “Grandma will be alright”, consider: “I’m not sure how grandma will be, but this uncertainty is a part of life that we all need to learn to live with.”
5. Involve Them: Give them opportunities to support the ill grandparent. Making cards, placing phone calls, and visiting them when appropriate are good ways to get kids involved.

Click here to see the rest of Dr. Goldstein’s points.

The home care professionals are here to help family caregivers through the many different aspects of providing in home supportive services. Contact us to learn more about being a great family caregiver and ways to get paid for taking care of a family member.